The Winter of My Discontent

“Discontent is the first step in transformation. No one wants to transform, however you do have a choice. You can either “touch the jaguar” and move through your discontent or you can sit on the sidelines and wait for the Universal 2×4. It’s your choice.”

~Robin Rosenstiel

Since Thanksgiving, I’ve been struggling with moving forward with my blogs and my 2019 offers. I was hoping the trip to Costa Rica in January and the Gong Yoga workshop in February would get me out of this funk. Sadly they were temporary fixes. When I returned home, everything continued to feel disconnected and out of place. As a result, I’ve been struggling with finding the right words to write and the right actions to take. By last Friday, this lack of forward momentum had left me feeling frustrated, angry and generally dissatisfied. In all honesty, I felt like my life and my business have been put into a deep freeze by Mother Nature – snow, rain, ice, wind, illness, and too many cats. At first I avoided it (my favorite activity) and then I tried to push through my resistance and take action (my 2nd favorite activity), and finally this past weekend I gave up the fight and surrendered (my least favorite activity) and decided to…

Spend the weekend sitting with my discontent.

What is discontent? Merriam-Webster Definition: Lack of satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation.

So how did I spending the weekend with my discontent? I’m sure you are thinking that sounds pretty painful, but in all honesty…

Ignoring the discontent is more painful then actually sitting with it.

I decided to be open and curious and have fun with it by getting out of my head and reconnecting to my heart and my soul by painting. Lets face it….

Transformation doesn’t have to be full of hardship and struggle!

I created a playful new technique where I ask myself a question and then intuitively look through the Watercolor YouTube videos and select a picture to paint. I would then preceded to paint the picture and notice what emotions or thoughts would appear. Afterwards I did some quick Google research to better understand the symbolism of the picture and how it pertained to my discontent. This is what I learned…

What does my discontent look like and feel like?

Mountains in the distance – feels like an unsurmountable hurdle in the distance. I did a body scan and realized that my discontent has been sitting in my lower back (which explains why my lower back has been bothering me since the start of January and I never have back issues).

What does my discontent want me to know?

Poppies – Demeter (goddess of agriculture) used the poppy to help her rest, and this period of barrenness became the season of winter. To me, this means that it is a season of stillness, a time to hibernate and integrate all I learned in 2018 before moving forward. Interesting observation – I’ve been seeing poppies every where for the past two weeks.

What is the most loving action I can take to resolve this discontent?

Koi Fish – be grateful for what I have….as prosperity depends more on wanting what I have vs. having what I want. To me this means that I need to stop focusing on what the future might look like and instead focus on the beauty that every day brings (whether that is a beautiful sunset, sunrise, a tasty meal, or a pina colada).

Where am I now in relationship to this discontent?

A boat silently sitting in still water – waiting. As I looked at the painting, I noticed that the boat is tried to shore, with the sails down and the sun rising in the sky. To me this means that I’m waiting for something to happen.

What is emerging by sitting with my discontent?

Square and Compass – time to recalibrate my internal compass to True North before setting course. WOW – I didn’t see that one coming! But the more I reflect on it, the more it makes sense. This visual helped explain why everything is feeling off balance and disconnected in my life right now. It’s time for me to stop trying to do and instead some time and decide what “Ture North” looks and feels like now, as a lot has changed in the past year. As an interesting fact, the Earth’s magnetic North has also been shifting at an accelerated speed. Maybe we are all feeling a bit unbalanced and off centered these days as the Earth shifts.

After I wrote this blog, I created the quote. What is funny about the quote is that I’ve had a couple of universal 2×4 “doozies” and they always seem to happen between October and January. Hmmmm….maybe by making the choice and sitting with my discontent and taking action, I’m avoiding the Universal 2X4?

Are you feeling discontent this winter?

For those of you who have no interest in following my painting technique, I have created 2 videos to help you sit with your own discontent.

Touching The Jaguar (explains the phrase – 1 minute)
Season of Discontent (sound meditation – 11 minutes)

Are you ready to move beyond your discontent and discover your next step?

Schedule a quick 15 minute discussion and we can discuss the next best step for you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Robin Rosenstiel
I create space for you to listen to your heart and take your next inspired step!